How You Hurt Me
by TheSingingGirl
Summary: AU. Bella is unbelievably forgiving, but what if she told Edward exactly how much he hurt her when he left her? It's what I would do. I would make him understand how he hurt me. How would he react?
1. How you hurt me

A/N: I always thought it was ridiculous, the way Bella just accepted Edward back at the end of New Moon. Of course, I'm not Bella, and I don't know Edward, so maybe if I was in her position, I'd do the same. But for now, I'm convinced I would have at least made him see exactly what he'd done to me before letting him back into my life. I tried to keep this as 'in character' as I could, bearing in mind I had to rewrite Bella's personality A LOT, and basically let it go wherever it wanted. I was surprised by what I ended up writing…

Disclaimer: Twilight does not belong to me, but to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer, though I'm willing to borrow it! :P Text in italics comes straight from New Moon.

* * *

"_I won't contest your decision. So don't try to spare my feelings, please- just tell me now whether or not you can still love me, after everything I've done to you. Can you?" he whispered._

My gaze dropped from his. I only paused for a second, but I heard his sharp intake of breath. I looked up again, frantic to keep him here, and drowned for the second time this week- this time in the pain in his eyes.

"No! Don't think that!" I pleaded, my whispers growing in volume. I forced myself to control my voice. "Of course I love you, Edward!" I savoured the feeling of his name rolling off my tongue without burning me.

"Then…" he hesitated for a second. His eyes of molten darkness stared deep into my own chocolate eyes, reading them as he had never been able to do to my mind. "Bella, my love, my only love, can you forgive me?"

I bit my lip, but he didn't speak, merely waiting for me to reply. His expression grew more and more pained as the silence lengthened until I couldn't bear it any more.

"Edward, I said I love you, and if you love me, then you don't need to ask. I will forgive you, but…" I broke off. Could I hurt him in this way?

I loved him beyond all reason and rationality. My life was unimportant; I would risk it a thousand times over to ensure he stayed alive. My happiness I would sacrifice for him; I would let him go in an instant if he wanted it. That was, after all, why I had believed him in the forest on the worst day of my life.

And yet.

I was much like Edward in one way: before him, I had believed I was complete in myself. I was determined never to let myself be so totally dependent on someone that my entire life revolved around them, I was certain that I had to take care of myself, and have priorities. A spate of bullying - thanks to my absurdly pale skin - when I was younger had left me with the attitude that I had to look out for myself before others. I had to ensure my own survival. That didn't mean I had to be selfish, not at all, but I had to be tough, and I was determined to be tough. When it came to my sanity and my safety, I had to put myself first.

Since Edward had come into my life though, he had broken all of my careful rules without even knowing he was doing it. I began to go past not-being-selfish, I became selfless. I had gone to Volterra without a second thought to save him. Before that, even, I went to save Renée, knowing that I would be tortured to death for it. But if you take the word 'selfless' at its most basic, I lost my self. When Edward gave up trying not to love me, he forced me to give up trying not to feel at all. I morphed, seemingly overnight, into a completely new person, utterly transformed by being in love. Had I given it a moment of consideration, I would have panicked at the loss of who I was, but I never did. I carried on in a wave of ecstasy, knowing he loved me and letting that take the place of my own self-protection. I knew he would always protect me.

Then he had left.

Suddenly, I had nothing to protect me. I was ten years old again, becoming suicidal because I had nothing to keep me alive. I was like a child learning to ride a bicycle for the first time. I had always carefully maintained my stabilisers, and then Edward came and promised to keep me upright. The stabilisers went, but as soon as Edward let go, I crashed to the ground. If Jacob hadn't picked me up again, I didn't know what would have become of me. Or maybe I did, but I didn't want to know. It scared me too much.

Edward had ripped me apart when he first met me, and now he had done it again. I wouldn't have a soul left to lose if he carried on like this. I didn't want to hurt him again, but he had to know what he had done. He had to know what he had done to me.

I began to murmur again, speaking my thoughts unedited, as he had always wished me to do. "I love you, and I always will, but, Edward," I took a deep breath before continuing. "You utterly destroyed me, when you left. You took everything of who I am, no, who I was, and shredded it, tearing me to pieces. I thought I didn't need to protect myself when you first told me you loved me, so I got rid of my defences and let you defend me instead. You became my everything, my world, my life. You were the one source of light in my universe, and then you extinguished it. My world crumbled, my everything became nothing, and my life didn't mean anything any more. I was so empty, and yet I was filled with so much pain, pain that hurt so much it didn't exist. Impossible pain, infinite pain. If I hadn't promised you I wouldn't do anything reckless, I would have killed myself by now because I didn't have you."

I felt him shudder, and his arms wrapped tighter round me, crushing me against him. Ignoring him, I ploughed on. "But it's worse than that. I didn't have you, but I didn't have my family either. My best friend, my big brother, my surrogate parents; you took them away from me too, and you took me away from them. You said you didn't let Alice say goodbye. You hurt her as well as me. How much did you hurt your family by making them agree to this? You didn't see Alice when she thought you were going to die, when she first had the vision. If you died, part of her would have died too. Every one of your family, they would have died a little because you were gone.

"Me? You were gone for nearly seven months." I finally looked up, meeting his horrified eyes. "Seven months, and every day more of me died, not knowing where you were, whether you were happy or not. I had to believe you were happy, because otherwise I would have had no hope for myself. Edward, you didn't just leave me. You killed me."


	2. How you saved me

Disclaimer: I still do not own Twilight. Sigh I give up.

_Previously:_

"_Edward, you didn't just leave me. You killed me."_

* * *

I felt his wordless horror at my blunt words, at the depth of the pain he had inflicted. It was almost like he had suddenly acquired Jasper's power, and was making me feel his emotions. I felt a little shocked that I had said all of that without breaking down in tears, and without stopping in order to protect him.

"Edward, I'm not saying this to hurt you. But you need to know what you've done."

His breath caught in his throat, and he made a strange noise, almost like he was choking. The sound connected with something lurking in my memory, an unclear memory, hazed and blurred, with no vision. With a start, I realised I was remembering the ballet studio, with blood sealing my eyes shut, and the sound of my angel crying. Looking at him now in the moonlight, I saw the whites of his eyes darken; if he was human, they would have been bloodshot. I pulled my hand up to his face, and cradled him, stroking his marble cheek. My other arm snaked around his back, and I held him close to me as I made little shushing sounds, comforting him.

"Shh, Edward, it's alright, I'm okay now. You're back, and you're here with me, and that's all that matters. Shh, love, it's fine, I'm fine."

It took him a little while before he was able to speak, and when he did, his velvet voice was rough and jagged, and broke often. "Bella, I am so sorry, so sorry. I know sorry doesn't cover it, but I don't know what else to say. What I did was inexcusable, but please, please believe me when I say it was for your own good. I promise you it was never my intentions to hurt you. I'm so-"

I cut him off before he could say sorry again. "I know. I believe you." I felt guilty now, for making him feel guilty. "Just forget it now, it's over. That's all in the past."

"I _can't _forget it. It wouldn't be right to." Agony permeated his tone.

"Yes, you can," I told him. "Even with your perfect vampire memory, you can forget this, or at least put it behind you. We can put it behind us."

His beautiful face was twisted in so much pain and remorse. "I can't," he whispered again.

I brought my other hand up to his face, and held him. "I'll make you," I murmured back, and then I pulled him to me and kissed him.

This kiss was like none of the others we had shared. He kissed me passionately, fired up by his emotions, and our lips moved with a new urgency, desperate to have each other, needing each other. Electricity jolted through me, originating from every tiny point where his frozen skin met my overheated face. His hands moved to my face, and stroked over every plane of my skin, tracing my nose, my eyelids, my cheeks, the sensitive skin just below my jaw line, remembering my face and re-memorising it, just as I was doing to him. Every place he touched burned with the most delicious fire, contrasting delectably to the icy surface beneath my own fingertips. His marble skin was flawless under my caress as I shaped my hands to his face, curving my fingers to match his perfect features.

I was desperate for air, but even when I pulled away, he merely moved his lips to my jaw, my neck, the hollow beneath my ear, touching them to where my pulse thudded loud and hot beneath my fragile skin.

"Edward," I whispered, and was surprised by how my voice came out, almost like a purr.

"Bella," he replied, and the word was torn between a moan and a plea.

He crushed his lips back to mine, and his hands were travelling down from my face now, past my throat, to my shoulders, my arms, like he had done the first day we kissed, in the meadow. He gripped my waist and pulled me even closer, so there was no space between us. I could feel every inch of his body pressed against every inch of mine, and my lips parted to let out a soft moan, the sound swallowed by his skin. If I had been concentrating in the slightest, I would have expected him to pull away, as he always did when I went too far, but instead his icy tongue darted out and licked at my lower lip, then slid into my mouth. It teased my teeth, my cheeks, and finally met my own tongue, tasting me like he had never done before. The tiniest part of my mind that retained sanity screamed at me to stop, to pull away, surely he couldn't stand this temptation, but he never made a single move to hurt me in any way. His teeth were so close to my oh-so-breakable body, but I didn't care because _he _was so close to _me_.

Suddenly, he was on top of me, my back pressed to the mattress by the soft pressure pushing me into the bed. He kept his weight supported on his forearms so he didn't crush me to death, and his lips were still glued to mine. He lifted one arm so he could trace a line from the hollow at the bottom of my throat down to my belly button, and further. Instinctively, I pressed into him, my back arching to be closer to him, to rub myself against him like a cat. A growl escaped his throat, sending vibrations through me, making me shiver in pleasure, but abruptly he pulled away. I was about to protest, but then I found myself pulled securely onto his back. I wrapped my arms and legs around him, and he jumped out the window and began running.

We both were panting hard, though I had never heard him out of breath whilst running. "Why?" I managed to ask after a minute.

He knew what I meant. "Now is not the time," he murmured, just loud enough that the wind did not whip his whisper away. "For one thing, I need to hunt. I haven't eaten in over two weeks, and if I lost any more control, you would be in an incredible amount of danger."

I felt irrationally jealous that he could formulate full sentences while I was still gasping for breath. "And the other reasons?"

He didn't answer for a second, and his voice was carefully light when he did. "Well, I'd much rather we didn't have a chance that Charlie might walk in on us."

I had to admit that made sense.

"And the third thing is that I want to do this properly. Hence the reason we're here." With that, I realised where we were. We were outside the Cullen house, and I smiled to see lights on at the windows, bathing the clearing in welcoming light. It seemed a different place to the deserted, haunted building I had visited a few months ago.

He didn't hesitate, flitting up the porch steps and darting in the front door. His family looked up from their places around the living room, but they were unsurprised – evidently Alice had seen this a few minutes ago. Esme smiled at the two of us, and Alice positively beamed. It made me wonder what she had seen happening next…

"Give us a moment, we'll be down presently," Edward said to his family, and without even pausing to give them a chance to answer, he carried me swiftly upstairs to his room.

As the door closed behind us, he set me down and darted to a small cabinet by his stereo. I realised briefly that everything remained in exactly the same place it had been the last time I had been here, on that hideous, fateful birthday, and wondered if he had ever taken anything away at all, and if he hadn't, who had unpacked, seeing as he'd been with me. I watched him as he knelt with unknowing grace by the cabinet and pulled out a jewellery box. I was vaguely surprised he had a jewellery box at all, and I stared at him as he pulled a smaller box from its depths, still moving faster than a human ever could. I doubted an entire second had passed since he let me go before he was standing in front of me again.

"Now, I know you hate parties, or occasions of any kind, so please look past that and see this for what it really is."

I was utterly mystified. "Okay…" I said, warily.

"Promise you will actually think about this?" he asked.

"Sure," I answered, growing more and more scared by the second.

"Okay then," he muttered, seemingly to himself. Then it all became clear as he sank to one knee. My eyes grew impossibly wide.

"Isabella Marie Swan," he said formally, before his tone softened abruptly. "My Bella. I promise to love you for as long as we both live, and I promise never to leave you again. Will you marry me?"

He opened the tiny box and presented it to me. Reluctantly, I tore my eyes from his beautiful face and gasped as I focused on the ring. It was so delicate, a cluster of diamonds set on a web of gold, with a narrow gold band.

My emotions were in turmoil. In less than five days I had jumped off a cliff, nearly drowned, been reunited with my almost-sister, heard the love of my life was planning to commit suicide, saved him, faced the scariest monsters I had ever seen, agreed to end my human life, found out that Edward really did love me, forced him to see how much damage he had inflicted on me, nearly made love to him, and now I was being proposed to.

Well, what can you expect a girl to do when all that happens to her in a week?

I fainted clean away.

* * *

A/N: Well, there you are. Two nights spontaneous writing, and that's it… for now. If anyone desperately wants more, review, and maybe I'll do a couple of chapters until it really matches up with the end of New Moon-- if there's enough of you! Ooh, I'm shameless.


	3. Back to the real universe

The world came back slowly, blurrily swaying in front of my eyes, vaguely buzzing in my ears. The first thing I was aware of was a cool hand against my face, brushing my cheekbone with gentle movements. Then came the voices.

"… any second now. Give her a moment!" That was Alice, the high pitched voice quivering with laughter. What was funny? Oh, yes, I'd just fainted. The joke would be me, then.

"Bella?" Sweet, calm, Esme's voice. "Can you hear me, dear?"

I thought I managed to nod, but I wasn't entirely sure if the message got from my brain to my neck muscles. My eyes struggled open then, though, so I tried to get my bearings.

I was lying down on something comfortable, my head propped up against a rock hard, icy surface. My headrest shifted, and I realised it was Edward's thigh. If the blood had properly returned to my head, I think I would have blushed. As it was, I saw Jasper look curiously at me. I prayed he put my embarrassment down to having fainted, and that Edward hadn't picked anything out of his head. I was surprised to see Jasper there – generally he had tried to avoid me before… well, just before. Confused, I looked round and saw the entire family assembled in Edward's room which, despite its disproportionate spaciousness, was feeling decidedly crowded.

Emmett was leaning against the door, his head craned to watch me. He grinned as he saw my eyes focus on him, and winked. I tried to smile back; I hadn't properly spoken to him since… ugh, you know, and I had missed his perpetually teasing good nature.

Jasper and Alice were standing together, his arm round her shoulder, and I guessed they were feeling the same relief to be back together unharmed as Edward and I. I hadn't ever seen the two of them so physically close, even when we were in Phoenix that time, and I knew that this potentially catastrophic event had had a huge effect on the whole family. Alice's words on the plane drifted back to me: "_I hate lying to him._" She had risked her own life to save Edward's. Had Jasper been angry at her for that?

Carlisle maintained a position next to the sofa, as I now realised I was lying on, presumably checking my temperature or something while I was unconscious. Esme was at the foot of the sofa, staring at my face with concern inscribed in her kindly expression. I realised she was still waiting for an answer.

"Yes, I'm awake now," I said, and then grimaced. What sort of a stupid, obvious thing to say was that?

Surprisingly, no one laughed, though Emmett's smile stretched a bit further across his face, but a few sighs of relief emanated from various points around the room. One came from behind me, obviously Edward, one from Esme and one from… Rosalie?

I twisted round slightly to see Rosalie over by the window, detached slightly from the rest of the family but staring at me in such a concerned way, almost scared. Why was she scared? She couldn't – didn't – care that much about my health. She didn't even like me. I knew she was sorry about what she had done, but that was for Edward's sake, and that of her family, not mine.

That must be it, I realised. She was scared about my health because she knew it would affect Edward, and through him, the rest of the family. Alice had told me that the Cullens had split up while away from Forks; Edward's mood must have affected Jasper, which would have upset Alice, and Rosalie would have been annoyed at Edward for being depressed, so she would have left and taken Emmett with her. Esme would loathe seeing her sons in pain, and Carlisle would hate it too. I started to comprehend exactly how much damage Edward had done that day in the forest. I'd already made him realise what he'd done to _me, _but at that point I hadn't realised exactly how much he'd hurt his entire family.

I suddenly became conscious that throughout my last train of thought, I hadn't doubted that Edward had been as distraught as me during our separation. He had managed to prove to me that he still loved me, which was quite an achievement bearing in mind that I had been convinced for months that he in no way felt the same way about me as I did about him. How he had managed to utterly change my convictions in such a short time was beyond me. Then again, generally a marriage proposal is a guarantee that the proposer will love the proposed-to forever.

Oh my God! I just remembered Edward proposed to me! And that was why I fainted! He asked me to marry him! Edward asked _me _to marry him! _Edward_ asked me to marry him!

Everyone heard my stupid heart stutter and lurch as that tiny little fact registered in my brain, and everyone noticed the blood pool in my cheeks as my face turned its customary shade of deep crimson. A muted swallow came from the corner of the room as Jasper tried to suppress the venom that was pooling in his mouth, and looks that varied from curiosity to alarm all focused on me as my blush deepened even further.

"Bella? What is it?" Carlisle asked.

How was it even possible for my face to become redder?

For a moment I struggled to decide what to say, when Alice suddenly laughed – properly, honestly – for the first time since I'd seen her again. The sound was like wind chimes in the moonlight, silvery, light and full of mirth.

"Don't worry," she told Carlisle, still giggling, and I realised she must have seen a flash decision to tell them the truth. I immediately decided that I'd have to pay Alice back sometime, and she beamed at me. Quickly, I revised that last decision: I'd have to pay Alice back sometime, so long as it didn't involve shopping. Her face fell noticeably, and I almost changed my mind again. Almost.

I cleared my throat, feeling incredibly self-conscious. "Yeah, uh, sorry I caused such a stir," I apologised.

I went to sit up then, striving to heave myself into a vertical position. Edward helped me up, and Carlisle took a step back so I could swing my legs round.

"How long was I out?" I asked.

"Only around five minutes," Edward said. His velvety voice which I had dreamed of for so long sent a shiver down my spine. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jasper turn away.

"Four minutes and fifty-six seconds, actually," Alice chirped. It was so nice to see her back to the girl I had known when I was seventeen, happy-go-lucky and with eyes that seemed stuck in a permanent jig.

"And…" I bit my lip. Why was I going to spoil such a perfect moment with a question that had the potential to break my heart?

"What?" Edward asked gently.

The moment my eyes met his, I had no thought of hiding anything from him, so, lovesick idiot that I was, I asked the question.

"Are you all back to stay?"

My voice quavered on the last word and the atmosphere in the room suddenly shifted dramatically. I had almost forgotten how quickly vampires could change moods. Poor Jasper, was my first thought.

Alice's smile dropped from her pixie-like face, and her eyes flashed to Edward's face. Carlisle also threw a look at Edward, his face almost unreadable, though I thought I saw a hint of blame there. Or maybe it was guilt. Maybe it was a mixture of the two; did he think he should have stopped his son? Emmett looked down at the floor, embarrassed, I thought. Rosalie's eyes shut for a second and Esme's face appeared to be so remorseful that I wanted to jump up, wrap her in a hug and tell her that I didn't blame her at all. Jasper just clutched tighter to Alice. How on earth had he survived the past seven months?

I looked back at Edward. His face was perfectly smooth, but his eyes were full of the same turmoil that plagued the others, only stronger.

"Yes," he said. "I'm not leaving you again. I couldn't."

He leant down and kissed me, just brushing his lips against mine with all the force of a feather. My heart leapt and danced in a rhythm that had once been so familiar and now felt old and unused. It had been so long…

As he drew away, I moved to lean against him properly, fitting myself to his stone-like torso with ease. The coldness sent a shiver of happiness through my body, and for once Edward didn't draw away when he felt me tremble. He needed me, too. He couldn't live without me, either.

Suddenly, Edward looked away from me and focused on Jasper. "It's alright, Jazz, you can leave," he assured him. "I really won't mind."

Jasper smiled wryly, probably thinking that Edward would prefer it if he wasn't there. I didn't actually mind his presence; I knew Edward would save me if there was a repeat of my birthday, not that there would be. There was nothing sharp in any proximity to me and no wrapping paper in sight. Nevertheless, Jasper slipped from the room. Alice made to go with him, but stopped and looked back at Edward. He frowned slightly, and I wondered what was running through her head.

"What about you, Edward?" Esme asked, with an apologetic glance in my direction. "Bella would be perfectly safe with us, or Alice could take her home."

I realised that there was a question in her thoughts that I had missed: are you sure you don't need to hunt? Edward's eyes were the exact shade of startling coal black that they had been on that first day, in that first Biology lesson. My head understood that there was an urgent need for him to feed, but my heart protested madly against it. He couldn't leave, he couldn't leave me.

There was no need for the emotional protestations; Edward was immediately shaking his head. "I'll be fine for a while," he said. "I promise."

Esme heard the certainty in his voice and nodded. Carlisle smiled slightly.

"The days have long since gone since you first ran away to Alaska to escape Isabella Swan," he reminisced.

Alice chuckled, Emmett grinned and I grimaced. I remembered that first week when Edward had gone away as a week full of unwanted attention from the student populace of Forks High, the mystery of the Cullens and the fear that I had upset or angered the most implacable (and handsome) person in the school. I remembered thinking that it was both better and worse when Edward didn't arrive for Biology day after day, because whilst I really didn't want a lab partner who inexplicably hated me, I also didn't want him not there. Already. How quickly I had sunk in to this implausible infatuation.

"Anyway," Alice said, moving back, "we'll leave you two alone for a bit. I'm sure you've got a lot to talk about."

Emmett and Rosalie melted away with all the amazing speed that they possessed, though I did think I saw Rosalie look at me one last time before she left. She must be so traumatised by the near loss of her family. Alice paused by the door, seeing that I was going to respond to her statement. How on earth did she live with the déjà vu?

"You mean you'll give us the semblance of leaving us alone because you know we've got a lot to talk about," I corrected her. "You know, I do remember how keen vampire hearing is."

She grinned evilly. "Good. I'm sure you also remember that there are no secrets in this family."

I nodded, slowly.

"Then we'll be downstairs," she said and swept out of the room with a short giggle. I smiled automatically at the sound of her laughter.

"Sorry about her," Esme said confidentially. The fact that she could obviously still hear made me giggle.

"Don't be," I said, still smiling. "I'd rather have her here listening to every single word I say than…" I trailed off. I'd put my foot in it again. Me and my big mouth. There was a moment of silence.

"We'll see you soon," Carlisle promised as he took Esme's arm courteously and escorted her out of the room. It was true what they said about old habits.

I sighed happily as they left, despite my blunder. It was just so nice to have Edward's family—my family—back home where they should be. However temporary their residence here might be.

Edward noticed the change in my expression. "What's wrong?" he said softly, brushing a piece of hair back from my face.

I swallowed back the knot in my throat before answering. "How long are you going to be here?"

He understood. "We can only stay for another four years or so at the very maximum. Carlisle is the main problem: he does look a tad young for thirty-four, as he now is supposed to be. The rest of us can get away with a little more, in fact Jasper looks too old for nineteen, but we will have to leave eventually."

"I'm coming too," I stated. This was far too close to our conversation in the forest that day for my liking, and I wanted to completely undo what had been said then.

"So long as you want to. I'm sure I could stay here for another seven years without Carlisle and Esme; I've passed for twenty five before. And you can always come back and visit, unlike the rest of us."

I smiled instinctively at his acceptance of the idea, and then frowned almost immediately afterwards. "But…" I trailed off, unwilling to reignite the constant argument between us. "What about the Volturi?" I finished, altering what I was going to say slightly, but still leaving the message there.

He shook his head. "We don't need to worry about them, at least not yet. When you're immortal and have lived for millennia, time seems different. For Carlisle, for example, a week feels like nothing, but for the Volturi, a century seems like a week. If they don't have cause to think of us, they will most probably forget about it until you're at least thirty."

Thirty. He had answered the question I had been going to ask with the answer I was dreading. He was still going to leave me human.

"What about you?" I blurted out.

"What do you mean?" he asked in return. He knew damn well what I meant.

"When I'm thirty and they come back for me. Or eighty and bedbound. What are you going to do when I'm dead? If time moves so quickly for you, what are you going to do about that?"

He flinched when I said the word 'dead' but his onyx eyes betrayed no conflict, only sorrow. "I'll follow you. I know now I can't live without you and I couldn't bear to try."

I recoiled. "That's just so wrong! I told you before, I couldn't bear to have you just… and then when you went to Italy… you can't!" I begged him.

"There's nothing else I can do," he said.

"Yes, there is," I argued fiercely. "And you know it."

I stared into his eyes, willing him to see it my way. We could be together _forever_, not just the human approximation of the word. We could be close without him suffering from my torturously bittersweet scent. He could stop worrying about hurting me every second he was touching me. He could have me forever at the age of eighteen, never aging, never withering or decaying. I could be with his family without them perpetually being slowed down by me and my frail human body. I could be beautiful and strong for him, for eternity.

"No," he said, stubborn as ever. "I cannot and will not do that to you. Nor will I allow anyone else to," he added, and I wondered if he had heard Alice's thoughts in connection to that subject.

"This isn't just about you," I insisted. "Not anymore."

"You don't know what you're asking!" he exploded. "After almost a century of this… _pathetic _existence, don't you think I might have a better idea than you about this? Don't you think that I have reasons for wanting to keep you human?"

"I know you do! But don't you think I have reasons for wanting to be like you? Don't you have reasons for wanting that too?"

His gaze did not soften. "Of course you do. And so do I, but I simply cannot destroy you for my selfish desires! How self-centred, how egotistical does that make me? To kill you for my own sake. Never," he pledged.

I didn't back down. Some part of my wonderfully whole heart was rejoicing that he did actually want me the way I wanted him: forever. Probably some part of him was desperately bemoaning the slip of the tongue that revealed that detail.

"But you're not listening to me! This isn't about you anymore," I reiterated. "This involves your—_our_—entire family now. Maybe the Volturi won't come back until I'm _thirty_—" I spat the word out like the curse it was "—but what then? They won't forget."

"No, they won't," he agreed, "but we can hide you."

"From the _Volturi_?" I said. Had the strain finally made him lose his mind?

He looked deprecatingly at me. "Of course. I have a few theories about that."

Theories. In our lives, it always came back to theories. For once I was sick to death of theories. I wanted solid fact, indubitable proof that I was safe, that he was safe, that our family was safe. I _had _to become a vampire.

"No. This argument could go on—" I stopped myself saying 'forever'. **"If you're going to bring the Volturi down on us over something as stupid as leaving me human, then **our** family ought to have a say."**

"**A say in what?" he asked. **Talk about a ridiculous question. I knew he was just procrastinating, putting off the inevitable. He knew exactly what I was saying.

"**My mortality. I'm putting it to a vote."**

A/N: That ties in nicely then! Again, bold text comes straight from New Moon and does not belong to me (though I do have those lines stuck on my bedroom wall). The status of this story is going back to complete now. Then again, I might decide to do the aftermath of the vote, since that's gotta be a bit different. Then again again, it would only change a tiny bit, and I'm sure all you clever people could change three words or so of dialogue yourselves. Well, we'll see, but don't hold your breath. Unless you're a vampire, of course. Then it won't make a difference.

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End file.
